NETTLE EATING CONTEST HELD IN BRITAIN

This is not my idea of a good time. You sometimes have to wonder what possesses people to do things they do. Take this for example: The Nettle Eating Championships, held in Marshwood, Dorset, England last Saturday. There were 67 competitors, some from as far afield as Australia and Canada, took on the task of eating as many nettles as they could in an hour. Let’s see, I’m going to abuse myself swallowing stinging nettles, raw, uncooked and unwashed. Yuck. Who thinks of these things? I know it was another of those ridiculous things that started out as a bet in a pub. “Bet you a beer you won’t eat those nettles.” Each of the contestants are presented with two-foot -long bunches of fresh Urtica diocia (the common stinging nettle)  along with their natural accompaniments such as caterpillars, slugs and beetles. Great. The nettles are bad enough, but the insects too. What do you do to train for this, swallow pins? Thankfully beer and other beverages are provided to help wash down the nasty combination. Actually I’d need a lot of beer before hand as well. I can’t see even thinking about doing this sober. Tactics revolved around the classic “one mouthful at a time” technique, and rolling the leaves into tight balls to minimize the stinging. I guess you have to so something to get past the gag reflex. Judges were on the lookout for any cheating, such as hiding uneaten leaves under the table, or using mouth-numbing agents such as chili to cover the taste. How about several shots of novacaine before hand. But eventually, reigning champion Paul Collins, a 28-year-old graphic designer from Seaton in Devon, England, emerged triumphant once more. “Look mom I’m the reigning nettle eating champion.” There’s a real claim to fame. His winning total of 64 feet of nettles was an improvement on his previous winning total, but still fell short of the world record, which stands at 76 feet. Local experts predicted that due to the wet spring weather, the nettle leaves would be too lush for the record to be under threat this year. There are experts? I suppose that means extra slugs as well. But Collins has his sights on raising the bar next time round, saying: “I want to get the World record to be honest, which is ten foot more than this year and that is hard work. So yeah, I’ll probably be back next year.” I guess it’s good to have goals even if they are stupid ones. It’s hasn’t been publicized whether he vomited immediately after. Do nettles give you gas?