The Thunder God announced today that he is sueing Torvald Alexander for defamation of character. Of course I’m only kidding, the Thunder God Thor isn’t really sueing, even though he probably should. Torvald Alexander of Edinburgh, Scotland is a fan of Marvel Comics’ “Mighty Thor. So much so that he decided to create his own costume and go out on NewYear’s Eve dressed like him, or Alexander’s version of what Thor looks like. Most of the costume consists of tinfoil. Yeah, you heard me right, tinfoil. Apparently, upon arrival home that night, Torvald’s house was being victimized by a burglar. Dressed as Thor, he charged at the thief and the thief jumped out a nearby window and ran, frightened by Thor/Torvald’s appearance. It would have frightened me too, this screaming, flashing, foily thing running at me yelling “Verily, ye shall I smite.” Mr Alexander, 39, said: “As soon as he saw me his eyes went wide with terror. He looked like he had had a few drinks and decided to do a late night break in, but he hadn’t counted on the God of Thunder living here.” He added: “I had just got back from a fancy dress New Year’s party (This is the first time I ever heard of tinfoil as fancy dress) and because I have a Norwegian name I decided to go as Thor. It took ages making the cape, helmet and breast plate, and I must admit it was a bit chilly walking home (Yep, wrap yourself up in metal in the middle of winter), but when I saw that guy I just went mad and charged at him, my cape flying behind me. He probably would not have expected to meet a strong builder, especially dressed in tinfoil and silver.” No I would expect not. The house-breaker did not steal anything but left behind his shoes and the garden fork he used to break in. Garden fork? He landed on a pitched roof outside the window which broke his fall, and made his escape. Bare foot? That costume inspired some kind of fear. Which brings me to my main point. Isn’t the greater crime here, that Torvald appeared in public wearing little more than some wrapped tinfoil. I haven’t seen that much foil since the Roswell alien festival. I wonder if you turn him the right direction, can he pick up radio stations. I really hate to think what he was using for Thor’s hammer: Mjollnir. He’s lucky it wasn’t raining, he’d have been a perfect target for one of Thor’s thunderbolts. It’s not much of a mystery why he came home alone. Well, at least we know who won’t be in the running for the casting of the new Thor movie…I hope.
